Every Saturday morning, I sit and listen to the Torah reading in my synagogue, Congregation Beth Shalom, in Oak Park, Michigan. For some reason, this Saturday I couldn’t shake the idea that Moses lost his way with the people because of a lack of networking skills.  There is an eternal discussion amongst Jews and bible scholars about whether Moses was a good leader or what kind of leader he was. We often ask, “What specifically was his downfall? What was Moses’ sin that caused him to die without entering the Land of Canaan?”

One of the 613 commandments that observant Jews are expected to follow is the commandment to Write your own Torah. To take that commandment literally would be a joke because it takes a knowledgeable scribe at least a year to write a Torah. Most of us are not knowledgeable or focused enough to do that. However, the true meaning of the commandment is to interpret the Torah according to our life experiences and knowledge-within reason. What does it mean to us? I am a Cantor and businessman who is a crazy networker. I tend to look at the Torah stories now with a networking and referral marketing eye. So, that’s what kept bothering me on Saturday morning when we read about Moses and the Ten Commandments. Moses was a poor networker.

In short, Moses leads the Hebrews away from Pharaoh and the Egyptians. The Hebrews grow from slaves to a free people. Several hundred thousand of the Hebrews live in the desert for 40 years wandering from place to place. Moses, with God’s help, leads the Hebrews through the Sea of Reeds (known incorrectly as the Red Sea) and then presents them with the Ten Commandments and the Torah on Mount Sinai. That’s a pretty good resume, right?

However, he failed his people on several occasions. With that great resume you’d think that the people would forgive him. However, there are some unforgivable sins that your friends, congregants, or loved ones cannot forgive.

There is a simple formula that I first learned from Tim Green,  the president of the Referral Institute.  Tim taught us that every relationship, personal or business, revolves around the formula VCP², or Visibility, Credibility, and Profitability (squared). For example, if you hardly see your wife and kids, you are lacking visibility in your relationship. They begin to plan their lives without you because they don’t expect to see you at all. If you tell your kids that you’re attending their recital and you don’t, you’ve destroyed your credibility. They don’t trust your word anymore. When both you and your spouse are not receiving emotional benefits from your marriage, if there is no profitability on both sides, your marriage is leading to divorce. The same formula of VCP² may be applied to businesses. If you are not visible to your potential or regular customers, you will lose business to competitors. Your customers will forget about you. If you promise to provide a quality product and you instead send them something inferior, they won’t trust you and you’ve lost your credibility. Finally, if the product or service is not enriching their lives, or you’re not making enough money on the transaction, then there is no profitability.

So, let’s go back to Moses’ story.

I believe that Moses was not allowed to enter the Land of Canaan because of the following missteps. Moses, with God’s instructions, remained up on Mt. Sinai for 40 days. Although the Hebrews retained much of their Judaism, they lived for 400 years in idol worshiping Egypt. The Egyptian gods were physical things. When Moses remained on the mountain for 40 days, the hundreds of thousands of people thought that he had died or left them. The lack of visibility made them forget the laws that Moses just gave them 40 days before that. The people, in fact, probably thought that Moses was a god, for only he could withstand the scary pyrotechnic show with the thunder, smoke, and loud theophany on Mt. Sinai.  Moses did not prepare them for a 40 day absence. By the time that Moses came down the mountain, the people were partying around a Golden Calf that they had created to worship. Furthermore, although Moses begged God’s mercy on the people who broke God’s law by worshiping idols, Moses told the Levites to cut up thousands of people who were involved in the unsanctioned idol worship. It is here that Moses lost his credibility. Moses was supposed to be their protector. If they wanted to be murdered, they could have stayed in Egypt as slaves. He delivered them, with God’s power, out of slavery and the land of Egypt, but if they make one mistake they are then murdered on the spot. Later on in the story when Korach and his followers embarrass Moses, they are swallowed up into the abyss.  The people started to distrust Moses and the laws that he received through God.  In addition, with the advice of Moses’ father-in-law, he delegates most of the law interpretation to thousands of judges. It was an intelligent move to free up his time, but he was no longer the face of Judaism. Finally, there was a special tent where Moses would “visit” God outside of the camp. Although, he began as one of the people- their champion, he eventually became the old CEO who has lost that connection to his people.

This story is important to me as I balance my life as a Cantor, father, husband, business owner, and writer. It is necessary to be visible to all of your communities. How do you maintain that visibility and credibility with all of them? If you spend too much time on your business, you slowly lose your family. If you spend some selfish (and exhilarating) time writing books, you’ll lose another friendship.

The conclusion of my book, “God Cries and an Angel Loses its Wings,” includes the following teaching:

One of the most famous sages of Jewish thought was quoted:
“If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only
for myself, who am I? If not now, when?” If you’re thinking
of ways to create a happy and healthy life for yourself and for
your family, who else will care? No one, really. If you only
think about how to grow your business and make more
money, who are you? You won’t be recognizable and people
won’t want to be with you. You won’t connect with the right
people who will help you grow your business and life. When
you think only about yourself, people stop caring. And
finally, if not now, then when?

Find a balance in your life so that the people who need you most see you the most. And finally, balance your life so that you are able to follow through with your promises both with your family and friends as well as with your customers. No matter how important you believe that you are, remember that you need to work on your visibility and credibility endlessly.  Without those two constants, you will lose everything.